Tuesday, June 5, 2007

dating 102

Last night, I took a date to a gay bar. It was interesting and boring all at the same time. I soooo just wanted to go home and go to bed. What a waste of time. Now I'm all tiered at work.

It's so hard for me to be interested in someone who's work I think is shit. I know, it's way fucking dumb, because its not like I sit around making cool shit all the time. At least when i do its cool. Whatever, his handshake was weak and so were his paintings.

Another Jon-ism

If you lay in another womans bed, best believe that she will kick you out of it (figuratively and physically).

Thursday, May 31, 2007

i cleaned up my "maybe" poem

Its a few posts down. I like it better now. :)

Internet dating tips for men....key word: DOMINANCE

First Date:
It is important that you keep up the dominant and funny, as you keep on dating women. In your next date you will have to move things up a level. After the first successful date, women will think that are a fun and dominant guy, but they will also trust you.
In the next date you will invite them over to your home. The reason for inviting women that you date to your home, is that you can set the stage, and have full control over everything. In your own home, you have total control over the situation.

Getting Physical:
You can get physical with women that you date, by first touching her hair, just stroke her hair a little. After stroking their hair a few times, pull back, and few minutes later you can do it again. When you have played with a women ‘s hair for a while with different time intervals and different level of intensity, and while pulling back in mean the time. You can get three responses, a negative one, meaning that the women that you date is not into you in a romantically sense(at least not during this date). The second response is no response, this means that women are enjoying it, other wise you would get a negative response. Next you can try to stroke her cheek, softly. If she is OK with this, you can repeat it after a few minutes. When having stroked her cheek a few times, you can kiss her on the cheek. After a few kisses soft kisses on the cheek. You can kiss her on the mouth, after a few successful kisses on the mouth, you can French kiss the women that you date. At this stage the women that you date should be all over you, and sparks should be flying big time. The third response is that she is physically all over you at a much earlier stage. At time you notice that the women are taking the physical initiative, you should take advantage of this by pushing it further.

General Advice on Women:
Ask yourself the question: have you ever had the hots for a particular woman, and forgot all about her the next day? Most men have. Men can literally fall in and out of love, men are like a switch, it is either on or off, and it is either 0 or 100%.

Women are like volume knobs. Women gradually fall in love with men, women gradually go from 0 to 100%. When women go on a first date, they might be up to 10%, whether the man makes it op to 100% largely depends on what buttons he presses during the date, and how well he passes the tests that she throws at him.

Final random thoughts for the day

No more self sabatoge.
No more affection while under the influence.
No more being someone's temporary solution for loneliness.
And most importantly, No more McDonalds breakfasts.

Did I mention Memorial Day weekend was a blast?

random thought

OMG, it just occured to me that I am married and have parented two children.

Thats crazy!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

UPDATE: Feeling like a fuck up

I just got a mass email form the instructor for the class I dropped. She's extending the deadline for late assignments! May the Lord baby Jesus bless her in every way.